A mayonnaise-only store??? STFU.
S/O to @king_lesley for tweeting me about this … she has seen my love for condiments first-hand on way too many occasions to count. Good lookin’ out, Lezzle.
Now that’s F.L.Y.
Davidson without Stephen Curry is like chips without salsa. Just. Not. Happening. #MarchMadness
- YC & Future
In honor of Ivan’s final day at TFP, I am blogging about the fine establishment that is Chicken Grill. Not just any CG — the one by FIU. Where else does the day shift chicken-chopper know your order when you walk in the door? Where else does said chicken-chopper wink at you every day, sometimes twice? He is not just any chicken-chopper … I have been there at night and the night shift guy has nothin’ on day shift guy. Real talk.
Now back to the good part … (thanks Michael Bolton) … CG has the best curry mustard sauce ON THE EFFING PLANET. Nothing can touch it. I didn’t even like anything curry-ish until Ivan introduced me to this guy. It’s smooth, not too spicy, but with a little kick. Basically, as Pink would say, it’s f*cking perfect. So perfect, in fact, that I have never even tried another sauce at CG (except for BBQ and hot sauce, which are pretty standard so I feel like they don’t count). Those of you who have eaten with me know that this is a pretty big deal because I like to do the flip-and-dip as much as possible. Hide your ketchup and hide your curry, because I’m coming for it.
Anyway. In all seriousness, Ivan will be greatly missed around these parts. Not only because I see myself going to CG for lunch much less frequently, but because he is awesome. Almost as awesome as CG’s curry mustard sauce. Even he would admit to not being as awesome as that.
Cheers, to a cold beer on a Friday night,
The Zac Brown Band
“With fond memories of such a bright future, rest in peace Cholula hot sauce. You were so FULL of life… this beloved sauce plunged to its untimely end and dramatic splatter from the lower door rack to the tile floor. So many bottled sauces share this fate and my heart is broken just as the shards of glass that, even a week after, seem to find their way into my bare feet. It’s a harsh reminder that plastic is a close friend to every “good to the last drop” condiment lover.”
Thank you to my good friend and fellow condiment lover, B-House (Follow House Beats here: http://betsyhouseman.tumblr.com/) for this submission. ‘Tis a sad, sad day when a condiment sees it’s final hamburger.
Condolences,
Puff Daddy & Faith Evans
Is it Chick-fil-A Friday yet?
aimart: @maeganAZ Dream job » RT @TeamWorkOnline: Newest Job Posted: Condiment Station Workers - Centerplate- Tampa Bay Rays (St. Pete, Fl)
This is how I would feel if I were to pursue a career as a condiment station worker - completely overwhelmed at my choices. Although probably not wearing leather leggings. PROBABLY not.
My name Wale!
Via Twitter - “@EatThisNotThat: CONDIMENT CRIME: 2 Tbsp of Kraft Tartar Sauce packs 50 cals more than a serving of tilapia!”
Well it’s a good thing I don’t like tartar sauce, now isn’t it? Or tilapia, for that matter. Regardless …
Inside fishsticks,
- Jeezy
As an extreme ketchup lover, I am deeply sadded by this Hunt’s imposter. I keep a bottle of ketchup in the office fridge (like you didn’t see that coming) and I recently bought Hunt’s No Salt Added Ketchup by mistake. I truly can’t think of a worse or more crucial condiment blunder. It takes a lot to screw up ketchup and when it’s bad, there is no fixing it. When you choose a new honey mustard, it’s more than likely going to be OK. Maybe it’s not your fave and maybe you won’t get it again (unless it’s on sale and/or you have a coupon), but it’s tolerable for the remainder of the bottle. This is SO NOT the case with ketchup.
It looks as though I will be adding ketchup to my Target list for the weekend and disposing of this poor excuse for my favorite tomato treat ASAP. Alas, until that happens, salt-free ketchup is (slightly) better than no ketchup at all.
With(out) Salt,
The Ying Yang Twins
As any true condiment queen knows, what you put on your burrito bowl is just as important as your potentially life-changing decision at that fancy new Coke machine. (S/O to that awesome monstrosity, by the way — although you thoroughly intimidate me and I most of the time opt for water to avoid the embarassment of not knowing how to operate you despite the directions ON the machine).
But seriously, condiment choosings at burrito places are to be thought about in great detail. Luckily this particular outing to Moe’s gave me a lot of time to think and plan and debate in my head since the line was incredibly long. I had to keep reminding myself that it was fo free, and that that was more important than smelling like fried chips the rest of the day. (S/O to @pjdodson for having a BFF in the form of a Moe’s manager who likes to dish out Moe’s bucks, which by the way AAA guys do not accept as tips … but that’s another story …).
Anycrap, I know that my need for options when it comes to sauces is a little shocking for some people, including my 92-year-old great aunt (she may be 91 but we’re not sure … one paper from Cuba says one thing, the other says another … details). I took my Moe’s to go and had lunch at her house on Monday. As I was setting up my eating station, she says, “Ay dios mio! You have many!” and proceeds to hover over me as I describe each condiment to her in broken English.
And so (in regular English). Beginning with the white sauce which is clearly queso (for all you condiment haters, ahem @cmjohns) — I thought it was abnormally spicy that day, yet still pleasant because, well, it’s effing cheese. To its right we have medium salsa which I would describe more-so as mild, yet also quite good. Yeah, I poured it all over my burrito bowl, what?!
Below the red sauce we have tomatillo sauce, which is @pjdodson’s fave and I really can’t blame him. It is delicious, and I also put a decent amount of that on my meal. Finally, to the tomatillo’s left we have guacamole. Everyone knows that guac is delicious and that it has all those “good” fats we always hear about (whatever) … and also that avocados are freaking expensive and hard to … peel? This particular batch was so-so, as I prefer mine in a much bigger container with more heat to it …
That’s. What. She. Said.
Happy burrito-ing, Busta
Hello party people, and welcome.
Today, I was at a press conference where there were two trays of food: chicken fingers with honey mustard sauce, and various sandwiches. A friend/co-worker walked in and I suggested that she put the honey mustard from the chicken finger tray ON the sandwich. She took my (fabulous) advice and said that she made the right call by listening to me. I knew right then and there that I had to let the world know about my calling as a condiment queen.
Enter: Condiment Whure
On this blog I will be sharing my extensive condiment knowledge, including but not limited to: the best condiment to choose at certain restaurants, ballin’ condiment pairings, and condiment mixology tips. There will be a plethora of photos, videos, links, etc., for all of you fellow sauce lovers to enjoy.
I will probably post a lot of random crap that I find funny and/or entertaining, as well, and I will be using song lyrics to name all of my posts. I would probably die without condiments and music (and cheese), so it’s really just a perfect fit.
Welp, that is all for now. I hope you enjoy my unconventional wisdom, and that I will always be able to help you decide what to dip your chip in, pour on your meat, and slather on your sammy.
Best, H.O.V.A. (Lyric artist from post title - see what I did there? Take note. #boom)
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